we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize