whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
