i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
