So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
