My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
