i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
