You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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