Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
