I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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