She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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