WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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