Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
