apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
