Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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