And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
