can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
