I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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