I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
