Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
