I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
