im drinking this country out of the recession.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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