Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
