So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
