So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
