So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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