I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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