there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I understand Curling. That high.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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