what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
