Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
