dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
