Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is my gift to your gina
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dicks are not precious.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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