I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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