He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
