At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
