am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
