I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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