Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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