Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
