Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
