5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
