We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
