dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
