You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
