i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize