Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think i peed on brittanys purse
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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