I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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