i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
