Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize