even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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