Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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