and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
