Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
