I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
