Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
