In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
