i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My bed smells like the plague
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize