Do you still have your period?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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