Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
