You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
