So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
